I should start off by saying that I have never been a fan of movies based on video games. The few that I have seen I really haven't enjoyed at all. The problem I find is that there really isn't enough of a story to base an entire film around and the filmmakers tend not to expand the narrative elements nearly enough to make these video game stories truly cinematic. And the studios end up coasting largely on name recognition to get folks to turn out to theaters. I got lured into seeing the sci-fi action-comedy, "Borderlands" based on the trailer that featured an impressively eclectic cast that included Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Edgar Ramirez, Jack Black and Jamie Lee Curtis. Yet once again, I was tricked. "Borderlands" is a very expensive, poorly conceived, convoluted mess with several of the creative team jumping ship during or after production and even having their names removed from this project. It begins on the planet Pandora with a mercenary soldier named Roland (Hart) kidnaps a teen called Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt) who happens to be the daughter of Atlas (Ramirez), a powerful corporate bigwig. He hires the bounty hunter, Lilith (Blanchett) to rescue his child. Tracking down Roland, Lilith discovers that Atlas actually wants Tina back against her will and she teams up with him to fight against Atlas' army, the Crimson Lance. Then the story goes further into some nonsense involving the secrets of advanced technology by a lost civilization of Pandora which Atlas believes is located in a mysterious vault that only Tina can open. Eli Roth is the credited director (with Tim Miller taking on reshoots) and wrote the screenplay with Joe Crombie (writer, Craig Mazin had his name removed from the script). The end results makes the film feel completely disjointed, impaired by underdeveloped characters, a meandering plot and without a whiff of originality. "Borderlands" was a complete waste of the prestigious talent involved and the one hundred and one minutes of time I will never get back.
"I Saw The TV Glow", Jane Schoenbrun's follow-up to their acclaimed 2021 debut, "We're All Going to the World's Fair", received a glowing reception by many critics with several placing this psychological-horror drama high on their Best of the Year lists. However, the appeal of this film was completely lost on me as my viewing experience was torturous and feeling like it was never going to end. This '90's-set story follows Owen (Justice Smith), a lonely and isolated teen who bonds with another loner at school, Maddy (Brigette Lundy-Paine) over their love of a television show, "The Pink Opaque". The program involves two teenage girls who use their shared psychic abilities to fight a villain called Mr. Melancholy, who has the power to shift time and existence. Owen and Maddy deeply connect to this show, which in turn, helps them grow closer to each other. Family problems makes Maddy want to run away from home and asks Owen to go with her. After sincerely considering this offer, he decides to stay and Maddy disappears. "The Pink Opaque" is also cancelled around this time. Several years later, Maddy reappears with news that she's been living in their favorite show during her time away. Schoenbrun has tapped into the surrealist, experimental style of the great David Lynch yet "I Saw the TV Glow" feels more muddled and less engaging than a wonderfully puzzling Lynchian experience.
The romantic-horror comedy, "Lisa Frankenstein" might have been intended be an ode to the classic comedies of the '80's but only ends up being a tired and predictable modern comedy. Lisa (Kathryn Newton) is an odd, goth teenager still trying to cope with the loss of her mother to an axe murderer. And to make matters worse, her father (Joe Chrest) has remarried to Janet (Carla Gugino), a self-involved woman who doesn't care about Lisa, and they live together with her daughter, Taffy (Liza Soberano). Lisa spends her time at the local cemetery and speaks to the grave of a young Victorian man who was killed by lightning. Lightning winds up striking twice and this man (Cole Sprouse) is brought back from the dead as a mute zombie to become Lisa's perfect boyfriend. Zelda Williams (who happens to be the daughter of the late Robin Williams) makes her feature directorial debut with "Lisa Frankenstein" and displays no real gift behind the camera, sadly proving the argument about nepo babies. The shockingly bad screenplay was written by Oscar-winner, Diablo Cody who seemed to have scripted this in a time warp, trapped reliving worn out, comedic ideas about love and relationships. Painfully dull and uninspired, "Lisa Frankenstein" is an apparent comedy that never came to life, effectively dead on arrival.
Based on a little known, minor character in the Spider-Man comic book universe, the super-hero film, "Madame Web" has managed to do nothing to make us intrigued, let alone inspired, to want to see anymore of her. Dakota Johnson has once again been given a leading role as Cassandra Webb, a New York City paramedic who develops abilities of a clairvoyant following a near-death experience. This leads her to connecting to three young girls (Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced and Celeste O'Connor) and protect them from shady businessman, Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim). Also having limited psychic abilities and enhanced strength he obtained from a Peruvian spider, Sims has visions that these girls will be the cause of his demise. And that means he wants to end their lives before that can happen, forcing Cassandra to develop the use of her powers in order to save them. The director, S.J. Clarkson, who has had an extensive career working in British television, makes her feature film directorial debut with "Madame Web" and is in way over her head trying to get a handle on the comic-book genre. The hazy and shapeless screenplay assembled by Clarkson along with the team of Matt Sazama & Burk Sharpless and Claire Parker does the film no favors. I do not pretend to understand the allure of Johnson yet the offspring of the charismatic actors, Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith continues to book jobs despite adding very little charm and appeal to her performances. With an incoherent story, underwhelming visual style and listless thrills, "Madame Web" finds success as another very expensive addition to the garbage heap of super-hero movies that failed to launch a hopeful franchise.
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