TAKE THIS WALTZ (2012)

Written & Directed by Sarah Polley


Where & When: Laemmle's  NoHo 7, North Hollywood, CA. July 31, 2012  1:15PM



The actress, Sarah Polley is becoming better known as a gifted filmmaker with her last feature film as a director was the acclaimed, "Away From Her" which earned her an Academy Award nomination for Best Adapted Screenplay and star, Julie Christie a nomination for Best Actress back in 2006. "Take This Waltz", the writer/director's latest, is the story of a married woman (highlighted with another fine performance by Michelle Williams) whose life is turned upside down by a chance encounter with a man and the strong connection she has with him that could possibly cause the demise of her marriage. Ms Polley's skill is on full display here but this film doesn't burn nearly as bright as her previous work.

Williams plays Margot, a writer on assignment out of town, meets the cute, Daniel (Luke Kirby) on the plane ride back home to Toronto. As the two chat, they share an easy rapport, flirting and teasing each other like a couple who have been together longer than a few hours. On the cab ride home, Margot finally confesses that she's married but there is a slight complication as Daniel lives right across the street.

Margot's husband, Lou (Seth Rogan) who is working on a cook book containing the many ways to prepare chicken, is sweet, funny and completely devoted to his wife. As they approach their fifth wedding anniversary, Margot is feeling somewhat unsatisfied and frustrated with her life and marriage despite her husband being a genuinely nice guy and fully aware of how fortunate she is to have him. However, this knowledge doesn't prevent her from looking next door for opportunities to spend fleeting moments with her neighbor. She is able to see him regularly as Daniel makes his living as a rickshaw operator but he's a talented artist who is reluctant to show his work publicly. Their complicated relationship remains chaste, although with great difficulty, but for every deliriously wondrous occasion Margot spends with Daniel, the more tortured and confused she becomes.

The plot for "Take This Waltz" is fairly standard but Polley tries to juice things up by using creative camera tricks (which is beautifully shot by Luc Montpellier who worked with the director on "Away With Her") and inserting some quirky images like one involving a strange effect caused by peeing in a swimming pool and a non-sexual scene involving full-frontal nudity featuring women of various shapes and ages but none of this can make up for a surprising lack of any type of real emotional connection to this familiar tale.

Williams, who was Oscar-nominated last year for her breathtaking turn as Marilyn Monroe in "My Week With Marilyn", dazzles once again with a solid performance. However, she is still unable to muster much sympathy for her character as she comes across as selfish and insensitive to both men's feelings. We are never given any clear explanation for her deep conflict, beyond possible boredom, as her husband and the neighbor are nearly indistinguishable as they are both deeply understanding, perfectly behaved gentlemen who barely raise their voices. Perhaps a real bad boy will fulfill her uncertain desires or maybe she should just spend some quality time single to sort out what exactly she's searching for.

Comedians, Rogan and Sarah Silverman, (who plays his alcoholic sister fresh out of rehab, struggling to remain sober) are brought on board to, apparently, lighten the mood but their trademark humor is used minimally and while they expertly flex their dramatic muscles, ultimately the performers feel wasted.

"Take This Waltz" explores one woman's anguish as she grapples with the electrifying passion of new love with the difficulties of trying to hang on to a solid, long-term relationship. While the film certainly has moments of intriguing drama and visual delights yet it never gains enough momentum to become fully engaging to actually be concerned with which man she finally ends up with.

TED (2012)

Written by Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin & Wellesley Wild


Directed by Seth MacFarlane


Where & When: Los Feliz 3, Los Feliz, CA.  July 8, 2012  7:00PM



"Ted" is the first feature film by Seth MacFarlane, the creator of the animated comedy series, "Family Guy", "The Cleveland Show" and "American Dad'. I have to admit I wasn't expecting much as I'm not much of a fan of Mr. MacFarlane's television shows. It seemed that "Ted" would be nothing more than an extended, live-action version of an episode of "Family Guy" that is pushed forward by a series of unrelated jokes (some witty, most just offensive and gross) that are loosely tied together with a slight plot. However, this film manages to be a pleasantly amusing charmer that offers just as much heart as it does raunchy laughs.

As a little boy, John Bennett was very lonely because nobody wanted to play with him. One Christmas day, his parents gave him a large, talking teddy bear as a gift and he becomes John's best friend. John wishes that his bear would come to life and overnight, Ted magically is able to walk and talk. Ted, obviously, becomes a media sensation but after his fifteen minutes of fame are up, Ted is soon old news and forgotten which leaves him a little bitter.

Now as an adult living in Boston, John (Mark Wahlberg) works at a dead-end job but the bright side is that he has been dating for four years, the gorgeous, Lori (Mila Kunis). Everybody tells her she can do better but Lori doesn't mind that he's unmotivated and she makes more money than her man. He makes her laugh and she's ready to take the next step to marry John and start a life together. However, John is still living with Ted, (voiced by Mr. MacFarlane) who has become a  foul-mouthed, obnoxious stoner. Lori would like to see Ted move on, as she feels that he's not a great influence for John but he can't seem to let his bear go. Ted, with his crass behavior and "party 'til you drop" mentality, manages to help get John in to plenty of mischief that threatens his relationship with Lori. There is also a creepy guy (Giovanni Ribisi) who wants Ted for his equally creepy son and willing to do anything to get him.

Women, gays, most racial and ethnic groups and "Twilight's", Taylor Lautner are all fair game as nothing and no one is off-limits as the highly un-p.c. jokes fly fast and furious. Some of these are hilariously funny unless you are in one of the aforementioned groups, which then you might find them less than humorous. While the plot is certainly slight but what makes "Ted" truly work in the underlining tenderness that is snuck in throughout, most especially between John and his bear. Even after the two have a comically over-the-top but ultra-violent knock-down, drag-out brawl in a hotel room, using everything at their disposal, you can still sense the deep love they have for each other although neither would ever dare admit. There are moments that the film feels like it ventured in to Judd Apatow territory, but never quite reaching the polished wit of "Knocked-Up" or "The 40 Year Old Virgin".

Mr. Wahlberg, who began his career in music as a rapper, has progressed in to a fine actor and a great comedian. Best known for his ability to easily play a tough guy, Wahlberg is not in the least self-conscious and willing to look quite ridiculous for a laugh. Ms Kunis isn't given much to do but simply look attractive while reacting to all of the craziness around her. She doesn't even get the opportunity to tell a real joke.

"Ted" manages to juggle romance, bromance, action, suspense, a car chase, singer, Norah Jones, the 1980's film, "Flash Gordon" (Sam Jones, you rock!) and bawdy humor while surprisingly making it all work to become one of the best comedies I've seen not only this year but in a long time.

MAGIC MIKE (2012)

Written by Reid Carolin


Directed by Steven Soderbergh


Where & When: Arclight Cinemas, Hollywood, CA.  June 29, 2012  5:45PM



Channing Tatum is the current prince of Hollywood, thanks to his past few roles in several moderately successful movies as he appeals to women with the romantic tearjerkers, "The Vow", "Dear John" and (to a lesser degree) men with the action-thriller, "G.I. Joe" and the comedy spoof, "21 Jump Street" which all have helped to raise his profile.

His latest, "Magic Mike" is poised to possibly take him to the next level as the film, directed by the respected Steven Soderbergh,  takes us in to the salacious world of male strippers. Mr.Tatum dazzles as the title character and lights up the screen, even when his clothes are on.

Women have been seductively removing their clothing on a stage for quite a long time but the question remains if there is the same interest in viewing nearly naked, hard muscled men bumping and grinding down to their g-strings. This film, loosely based on the early career of Mr. Tatum, seems designed to capture the attention of the ladies (as well as a certain segment of the male population) and it does this very well but it doesn't have too much to offer outside of the titillation.

Mike (Tatum), spends his days breaking a sweat on a construction site but by the time the sun has set in Tampa, he takes to the stage, sweating throughout the evening as a hip-hop stripper named, "Magic Mike". He has enjoyed all of the perks of being an exotic dancer but after six years, he's ready to move on. Mike dreams of becoming a furniture designer but because of bad credit, he is unable to get a loan to start his business despite offering the bank a down payment of his career-savings of dollar bills. On his day job, Mike meets Adam (Alex Pettyfer), a young, aimless slacker who sleeps on the couch of his sister, Brooke (Cody Horn). After Adam quits this job, through a series of circumstances, Mike introduces him to Dallas (Matthew McConaughey), the eccentric owner of the club, Xquisite and Adam becomes, "The Kid", the newest dancer.

The life of a male stripper appeals to Adam as the job offers him new-found attention from beautiful women, a sense of place and family with the other performers and a lot of cash. However, Adam soon gets swept up by the darker, sleazier side of this world where are there are plenty of wild parties and unscrupulous characters lurking around. Adam begins dealing drugs (and heavily using) and gets in over his head which concerns Brooke but Mike promises to watch out for her brother. Dallas is going to open a bigger club in Miami with an offer for Mike to be a partner. Will Mike continue on as a dancer in a different location or will he stay in Tampa to try and start a new life?

There really isn't much chance that many heterosexual men are going to want to rush out to the theater to see this film and there really isn't anything here that's particularly engaging or insightful that would encourage them to want to sit through the endless parade of half-naked men. "Magic Mike" is light-weight, predictable and drifts much closer to the high-camp of the female stripper flick, "Showgirls" than Mr. Soderbergh realizes but still manages to be quite entertaining. There is a sense of fun and good humor that comes through that makes all of this silliness watchable. Sexual politics is touched upon but what the film is displaying is the male fantasy of being an object of desire as women lose complete control in your presence and quite happily give as much money as possible in gratitude. Seems like nice work, if you can get it but most guys actually couldn't or probably shouldn't.

The focus of the film is supposed to be on the budding romance between Mike and the sweet, down-to-Earth, Brooke who offers him a possible alternative but since there isn't much chemistry between these actors and it doesn't help that the monotone Ms Horn is not exactly the most expressive of actresses, their scenes together fail to ignite or generate much interest. The friendship between  Mike and Adam is actually far more interesting although Mr. Pettyfer isn't able to leave much of a memorable impression either.

"Magic Mike" is the perfect showcase for Mr. Tatum as he effortlessly oozes plenty of natural charm and sensuality. Like Mark Wahlberg before him, Tatum doesn't register great intellect on screen but he does comes across as a sweet, fun-loving lunkhead with some killer dance moves. He plays Mike as a stripper with a big heart as all he wants is to help the down on their luck and willing to make great personal sacrifices on their behalf. I don't know how believable this character would actually be but he still does a fine job. Mr. McConaughey has finally decided to break out of romantic-comedy rut and return to displaying some of the early promise he had at the beginning of his film career as a character actor. He plays with his own shirtless, party beach-boy image but adds the right amount of a quirky, dark edge to an aging former stripper with an ego-driven quest for power in this small scale business of flesh peddling. The actors who fill in as the other dancers of the club are familiar faces, mostly from television, which includes Matt Bomer ("White Collar") and Adam Rodriguez ("CSI: Miami") but they are given nothing to offer but their gyrating flesh while performing plenty of cheesy choreography. However, if you ever wondered what "True Blood" 's Joe Manganiello (known in the film as "Big Dick" Ritchie) would look like in a fireman's uniform, "Magic Mike" gives you that opportunity although it doesn't stay on for too long.

"Magic Mike" is a tease of a movie where it distracts you with a tantalizing display of glistening, scantily-clad bodies thrusting at you but once you get past that, there really isn't much else left to see.

PROMETHEUS (2012)

Written by Jon Spaihts & Damon Lindelof


Directed by Ridley Scott


Where & When: Arclight Cinemas, Hollywood, CA. June 11, 2012  6:15PM


In Greek mythology, Prometheus was a Titan who stole fire from the Gods to give to man which enabled them to begin civilization. "Prometheus" is also the name of a a spacecraft carrying a crew out in to the universe on a scientific search for the origin of mankind in Ridley Scott's latest film. This is the director's first venture back in to science-fiction since he made the two films early in his career that still remain highly influential in this genre; "Alien" in 1979 (which "Prometheus" is somewhat connected) and 1982's "Blade Runner". These films took what traditionally had been stories mostly involving green space-men demanding to be taken to our leader and places them in possible future settings, incorporating real science and intelligent visionary ideas while also remaining highly entertaining with tense action sequences and flashes of shocking, brutal violence. "Prometheus" wants to revisit some ideas and images that where previously displayed but left unexplained in the first "Alien" but also to create a fresh, independent film that will stand on it own. While there are several moments of visual brilliance, this film is unable to truly recapture the spirit of the original as nothing feels innovative and isn't helped by a murky plot that offers more confounding questions than answers.

Set during the later part of the twenty-first century, two archaeologists, Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace), a woman of faith and her boyfriend, Charlie Holloway (Logan Marshall-Green) who only believes in science, discover a connection between unrelated ancient cultures in which they all depict an alignment of stars which are believed to be a possible map that could lead to the creators of humanity. A crew is assembled to explore this distant planet which is financed by the wealthy CEO of the Weyland Corporation. An android named David (Michael Fassbender) is on board to watch over them during the long voyage through space as he spends his time studying alien linguistics and endlessly viewing the film, "Lawrence of Arabia" which he uses Peter O'Toole's famous role as a guide to more closely emulate a human.

After they finally arrive, the small crew of the Prometheus is awakened, which is lead by Captain Januk (Idris Elba). Elizabeth and Charlie can't wait to explore this mysterious terrain but they are informed by the no-nonsense Weyland employee sent to monitor the mission, Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron), an icy blond who seems to have less emotions than David, that they are not allowed to make contact with anything they find without her permission.

The search party discover that there is breathable air in the large, stone structures but only find the mangled remains of giant humanoid beings. A room is also found containing tall cylinders with a dark liquid oozing from them but the Captain cuts their exploration short as he warns them that a large, dust storm is approaching and need to get back. Shaw manages to bring a decapitated head along to study while David secretly has one of the cylinders with him but two crew members get separated, being forced to stay behind until the storm passes. Overnight, the men become aware that they are not the only living beings in this structure.

Shaw is shocked to find that there is an actual link between humans and the previous inhabitants of this planet but she also slowly learns that this mission was not strictly for scientific purposes. David has been given his own assignment which involves a disturbing use of the two scientists and the lifeforms of this domain. Elizabeth must find a way to stop him or it may lead to the possible extinction of our planet.

"Prometheus" is a great-looking, mildly entertaining but unremarkable sci-fi flick but when you factor in Scott's brilliant first film or James Cameron's even more impressive 1986 sequel, "Aliens" (the other two sequels don't merit mentioning), then you can only look at this film as a huge disappointment. What is missing is a clear, thoughtful script with well-defined characterizations, actual breathtaking tension and some honest-to-goodness, bone-chilling scares. It may not seem fair to compare this to the previous "Alien" films but it's also impossible not to as "Prometheus" shares just too many similar plot points from several of the other movies and offers very little that feels truly fresh or suspenseful.

Ms Rapace (miles away from the punk computer hacker in the Swedish version of  "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo"), is in the difficult position of being compared to the tough and intense, Ripley, immortalized in all of the previous "Alien" films by Sigourney Weaver. While she certainly doesn't make you forget that iconic character, Rapace holds her own as her Dr. Shaw is a slight and softer presence but is more than able to summon great strength when required. This is most evident during the film's most harrowing scene where she has to perform surgery on herself to remove an unwanted visitor. Ms Theron was originally given the role of Shaw but had to drop out due to prior film commitments but once that was delayed, she took on the other part. I don't doubt that she would have been quite good in the lead but I think she's much more effective in the supporting role as she brings a quiet menace to Vickers. Perhaps it was because he was playing an android but the usually reliable Mr. Fassbender was surprisingly flat. He appears to be held back as if he's unsure of how human to actually make David and it seems like a complete waste to use such a naturally charismatic actor in such a cold, unemotional role. I didn't recognize Guy Pearce as he appears briefly as the elderly financier of this excursion. I'm assuming there were going to be scenes involving a much younger version of Weyland that ended up being cut but the heavy aging make-up the actor is buried under was unconvincing and distracting.

Although "Prometheus" features a terrific cast and slick visual effects but the film is unable to breakthrough nearly enough to be able to shine on it's own without being simply a reminder of the more memorable work that inspired it.

TO ROME WITH LOVE (2012)

Written & Directed by Woody Allen


Where & When: Arclight Cinemas, Hollywood, CA.  June 24, 2012  4:30PM


"To Rome With Love", the forty-sixth film written and directed by Woody Allen, is a manic farce set in the Eternal City with an all-star cast of American and Italian performers. Given that this film was highly anticipated, due to Mr. Allen's comeback smash comedy, "Midnight In Paris", "Rome" is sadly just as generic and uninspired as it's title. The film is surprisingly bland and unfocused as it manages to deliver only very brief moments of charm, wit or actual humor.

The film is played out in four unrelated vignettes; Hayley (Alison Pill), an American visiting Rome, asks a passing stranger for directions. The handsome Roman, Michelangelo (Flavio Parenti) is more than helpful and soon the two fall madly in love. Hayley's parents, Jerry (Allen) and Phyllis (Judy Davis) come to the city to visit their daughter and to meet this new man in her life. Jerry, who is a bored, retired music teacher, over hears Michelangelo's father, Giancarlo (Fabio Armiliato), singing opera in the shower and he has a spectacular voice. With dollar signs flashing before his eyes, Jerry is determined to get this man on the stage but Giancarlo declines as he is just a simple mortician, not a singer. After Jerry wears him down, Giancarlo finally auditions but discovers that he can only actually sing in the shower. Unfazed, Jerry is not about to let a little thing like that stop his plans.

John (Alec Baldwin) is an another American visiting Rome but he had been to the city many years ago as a younger man while studying to become an architect. Deciding to revisit his old neighborhood, he runs in to a another American, Jack (Jesse Eisenberg) who recognizes him. This young man is studying to become an architect and just happens to live in the same building that John used to live. His sweet girlfriend, Sally (Greta Gerwig) informs Jack that her broken-hearted friend, Monica (Ellen Page), a high-strung actress is coming to Italy to stay with them for a visit. She warns her boyfriend that she's a reluctant seductress but he's not concerned until he meets her. Despite John also warning him as he's been in a similar situation when he was his age, Jack still winds up being swept away by this actress. Are Jack and John the same person, looking back on his life or is John a figment of Jack's imagination? No idea.

Leopoldo (Roberto Benigni) is a simple, unasuming man who eats breakfast with his family every morning before going to work at his routine job. His life is turned upside down when one morning, he becomes a sought-after celebrity for no apparent reason. He's at first very annoyed by all this attention but soon learns to easily enjoy the perks of his new-found fame.

The best segment involves a newlywed couple from a small town who come to the big city for the opportunity to start a new life. Antonio (Alessandro Tiberi) is nervous about meeting his relatives who could help lead him to a better career but his wife, Milly (Alessandra Mastronardi) is only concerned about having her hair done before they arrive. As Milly becomes hopelessly lost trying to find the salon, there is a knock on their hotel door. Anna (Penelope Cruz), a comely, local working girl, pounces on Antonio, informing him that she has been paid for to fulfill his wildest dreams. Although a mistake has been made but his high-class relatives arrive early, so Antonio has no choice but introduce this lady as his wife. Meanwhile, Milly stumbles on to a film set where she becomes star-struck by meeting an Italian movie star (Antonio Albanese) as he becomes focused on seducing her.

"To Rome With Love" is a heavy handed affair, combining surreal fantasy with broad comedy but it all ends up feeling pretty stale. It seems like Mr. Allen whipped these dusty, random sketches out of the bottom of a drawer and tied them together to make this film. However, if Mr. Allen wasn't going to put any real effort to update or improve these wheezy stories, he really should have left them where he found them. I am a very big fan of the writer/director and what makes this latest film so disappointing is that I have seen what great work he is able to do when he puts a little effort such as "Crimes & Misdemeanors", "Bullets Over Broadway" or "Hannah and Her Sisters" to name just a few of my favorites.

Mr. Allen returns to the screen for the first time since his last appearance in his 2006 film, "Scoop" and he, once again, plays a high-strung New Yorker. While he is still more than capable of selling a joke but his routine feels just as tired as the rest of the film. The actors don't seem to have been given much guidance so they just rely on their own instincts which leads to some wildly, varied performances that also throws the film out of whack. Ms Cruz is able to do much with very little as she effortlessly brings much needed warmth and charm as she is the true comic highlight of this misfire. Mr Benigni, also long absent from film, delivers delightful moments of hilarity with his rubbery face alone but since Mr Allen didn't rein the comedian in, his antics become overbearing, most especially during his segment's final act. Rising indie star, Greta Gerwig is completely wasted and no offense to the talented Ellen Page (who was perfect in her breakout film, "Juno") but she is never believable for one moment as an irresistible femme fatale, no matter how hard she tries.

While "Midnight In Paris" played like Allen's lovely valentine to that city, "Rome" feels more like an unnecessarily hostile assault on this ancient city. Rome deserves much better and so does the audience.

DARK SHADOWS (2012)

Written by Seth Grahame-Smith


Directed by Tim Burton


Where & When: Mann's Chinese 6, Hollywood, CA. May 15, 2012 5:30PM


The most amazing thing about Johnny Depp's career as a movie star is that he achieved it without ever having to rely on his ruggedly handsome face. He managed to do it on his own terms by playing many colorful eccentrics and quirky oddballs that were (for the most part) far removed from the actual actor. Depp is fearless as there's no character too bizarre or grotesque for him to explore. It's clear he has no interest in playing it safe or expected as he enjoys hiding behind heavy make-up and extravagant costumes to become something that might only exist in his own imaginary world. The few instances when he attempted to portray more conventional people, he was much less successful and even appeared slightly bored. Although it took some time before the public came around to fully embraced these strange characters but by the time they met Captain Jack Sparrow in the "Pirates of The Caribbean" franchise, he was welcomed with open arms and a major star was born.

Mr. Depp's latest creation or rather, recreation, is the soap opera vampire, Barnabas Collins in the film, "Dark Shadows" which is based on the 1960's television program. The actor has once again teamed-up with director, Tim Burton for the ninth time (including both live-action and animation) as they both shared an affinity to the original show. Although the film pays a warm and loving homage to their memories but as an engaging entertainment, it's not quite as successful.

During the eighteenth century, the Collins family left England to move to America. They end up in Maine where they achieve great success by creating a fishing port. The town became known as Collinsport, and the family built a spectacular manor and called it Collinswood. Their only child, Barnabas grew-up to become handsome, wealthy and eligible which serves him well as this allows him to have his pick of any of the ladies in town. However, he has the misfortune of having a brief affair with his servant, Angelique (Eva Green) before becoming smitten with the lovely, Josette (Bella Heathcote) as the jilted woman turns out to be a witch. After she jealously causes the demise of his new lover right before his eyes, Angelique bitterly turns Barnabas in to a vampire. She rallies the townspeople against him so that they chain him inside a coffin and bury him where Barnabas Collins will have to spend the rest of eternity.

Cut to two hundred years later, a working crew, while doing construction, discover the ancient coffin. Barnabas is released from his tomb and, unfortunately for the men, he's very thirsty. He manages to find his way back to Collinswood manor only to find his old home in sad shape. He meets his descendants who still live in the decrepit house; his cousin, Elizabeth Collins-Studdard (Michelle Pfeiffer) who runs the household, her brother, Roger (Jonny Lee Miller), his troubled, young son, David (Gulliver McGrath) and Elizabeth's rebellious teenage daughter, Carolyn (Chloe Grace Moretz). This family is so highly dysfunctional that even David's psychiatrist, Dr. Hoffman (Helena Bonham-Carter) lives in the home although it's questionable how much help she actually is as most mornings are spent struggling to recover from a hangover.

A recent arrival has joined the house; Victoria (also played by Ms Heathcote), as David's new governess who startles Barnabas by her striking resemblance to his lost love and finds himself being drawn to her.

Elizabeth is the only one who's aware of their lost relative's true nature and explains to him how the family ended up in this troubling misfortune due to a rival fishing company that is run by witch who imprisoned him. Angelique, willing to let bygones be bygones, is more than happy to rekindle their romance but Barnabas wants no part of her which leads to an explosive showdown between her and the vampire

Mr. Burton started out his career as an animator for Disney so, it's not really surprising that as a filmmaker he tends to place a higher importance on the visuals. There has also always been elements of darkness and  kitsch to his work and "Dark Shadows" is no exception except this time it's actually quite appropriate. He is helped to achieve this by the impressive work of cinematographer, Bruno Delbonnel as he mutes the colors that highlight the inky blacks and icy blues to create an atmosphere that is perfectly gloomy and costume designer, Colleen Atwood who has worked regularly with Burton (and won her third Oscar with their last collaboration on 2011's "Alice In Wonderland") delivers her clever twist of the garish, over-the-top fashions of the 70's.

Although there are quite a few witty lines that provide some out-loud laughs but the script is convoluted and doesn't offer much of memorable story. The real problem is that the movie doesn't know whether it wants to be a campy comedy or a dramatic horror tale leaving the audience off-balanced. As "Dark Shadows" progresses, it rapidly loses steam with the laughs becoming fewer until we reach a wildly manic ending that feels rushed and unsatisfying.

Mr. Depp has created another fun and memorable character and it's clear he's having a good time. After Depp, the other highlight is Ms Green who brings delightful menace and tough sexy charm to her role as the demented witch. It's always an absolute pleasure seeing the amazing Ms Pfeiffer on the screen but her visit is too short and she's not at all utilized to the best of her abilities.

Despite some wonderful visual razzle-dazzle and a hilariously creepy performance by Mr. Depp, this updated "Dark Shadows" ends up not feeling improved or invigorated. It only comes across like some old, creaky relic but with some fresh paint slapped on it.

2012 SUMMER MOVIE PREVIEW

On the third anniversary of this blog, it is once again time to announce my picks of the films that I'm most looking forward in seeing this summer.

Also, as usual, the release dates are subject to change:

"THE AVENGERS" 

Release date: May 4, 2012

We have already seen Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Captain America (Chris Evans) and the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo, new to the role) each battle against evil individually but now they have been assembled together by Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Samuel L. Jackson) to fight against a bigger enemy in "The Avengers". Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and a new hero to the scene, Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) are also brought on board and they'll need all of their combined strength to save the planet. This is probably the film I am most excited about seeing all summer since I was such a big comic-book geek as a kid.

 

"DARK SHADOWS" 

Release date: May 11, 2012

Director, Tim Burton has teamed up with Johnny Deep for the seventh time in this comedic remake of the gothic soap opera, "Dark Shadows" that ran on television from 1966 to 1971 which I watched and loved as a kid. Depp plays Barnabas Collins, an eighteenth century playboy who is turned in to a vampire by an jilted witch (Eva Green) and buried in a coffin before accidentally being released hundreds of years later in 1972. He discovers a world that is a bit different than the one he last remembered and meets his dysfunctional descendants living in his mansion. Chloe Grace Moretz, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller, Helena Bonham Carter (what's with these three names?) and Michelle Pfeiffer round out the cast.

 

"HYSTERIA"

Release date: May 18, 2012

This British romantic-comedy is about a nineteenth century doctor (Hugh Dancy) trying to discover a cure for female hysteria, which was considered a medical condition that was helped by treatments that involved doctors performing a "pelvic massage". A device is invented to make the procedure more effective: the vibrator. Felicity Jones, Jonathan Pryce, Rupert Everett and Maggie Gyllenhaal also star in this film directed by Tanya Wexler.



"SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN"

Release date: June 1, 2012

This is the second film inspired by the classic fable released this year but unlike, "Mirror Mirror" (the lighthearted version that starred Julia Roberts as the evil queen) "Snow White and the Huntsman" is definitely not made with children in mind. This visually stunning take is a much darker spin with this Snow White being more than capable of taking care of herself and kicking some ass. Kirsten Stewart ("Twilight") plays the fairest of them all with Charlize Theron as the Queen who is not at all happy to hear that. It appears that the dwarfs and Prince Charming take a back seat to the brooding huntsman, played by Chris Hemsworth ("Thor").



"PROMETHEUS" 

Release date: June 8, 2012

Ridley Scott, the director of "Blade Runner" and "Alien", has returned to the world of science-fiction with "Prometheus", a film that is set before the first "Alien" film. Although the filmmaker insists that this is not exactly a prequel to that film but it's also clear that "Prometheus" is closely connected to what happened before the "Alien" series began. Does that clear things up? Noomi Rapace (the original Lisbeth in the Swedish version of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo") leads a strong cast that includes Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce, Idris Elba and Michael Fassbender.

 

"TO ROME WITH LOVE"

Release date: June 22, 2012

After the surprising success of "Midnight In Paris", Woody Allen is hot once again with his forty-third film, "To Rome With Love" being highly anticipated. The film was first going to be called, "The Bop Decameron", then "Nero Fiddles" before settling on this fairly generic title but hopefully the film will be much more interesting than the title. The cast includes Penelope Cruz, Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Ellen Page, and Judy Davis, with the return to the screen of Roberto Benigni (Best Actor Oscar winner for the 1997 film, "Life Is Beautiful") and Mr. Allen himself , who was last seen in 2006 in his film, "Scoop".



"MAGIC MIKE"

Release date: June 29, 2012

A movie involving male strippers doesn't require much more than that to get me interested but Steven Soderbergh as the director involved makes this even more intriguing.  Loosely based on star, Channing Tatum's past as an exotic dancer, "Magic Mike" is about the veteran stripper, Mike (Tatum) teaching a newcomer (Alex Pettyfer) the ropes while trying to gracefully leave the profession. Television hunks, Matt Boner ("White Collar"), Adam Rodriguez ("CSI: Miami") and Joe Manganiello ("True Blood") fill in as other dancers with Matthew McConaughey as a former stripper who now owns the club.



"TAKE THIS WALTZ"

Release date: June 29, 2012

Following her terrific debut, the award-winning 2006 film, "Away From Her", actress, Sarah Polley made quite an name for herself as a writer/director and has finally returned with her latest, "Take This Waltz". Michelle Williams (recent Oscar nominee for "My Week With Marilyn") plays a happily married woman to her husband of five years (Seth Rogan) but finds herself being drawn to her attractive neighbor (Luke Kirby). The drama also features comedian, Sarah Silverman, being very serious.



"TED"

Release date : July 13, 2012

"Ted" is a raunchy new comedy written and directed by Seth MacFarlane, the creator of the raunchy animated television series, "Family Guy" and "American Dad". John (Mark Wahlberg), as a little boy, wished that his teddy bear would come to life and he does; Ted is a foul-mouthed, drug-taking bad influence on John and is standing in the way of him growing-up and finding happiness as an adult with a potential new love interest (Mila Kunis).



"THE DARK KNIGHT RISES" 

Release date: July 20, 2012

Although "The Dark Knight Rises" is being touted as the third and final chapter in the Christopher Nolan - Christian Bale collaboration but I think it's pretty safe to say that we have not seen the last of the caped crusader. This time Batman has to deal with not one but two dangerous foes in the form of The Catwoman with Anne Hathaway filling in as Selina Kyle and Bane (Tom Hardy), a masked, lethal brute with super-strength. Gary Oldman, Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman return in their previous roles along with Nolan's "Inception" stars, Joesph Gordon-Levitt as a Gotham City cop and Marion Cotillard as Bruce Wayne's potential new love interest.

 

"TOTAL RECALL"

Release date: August 3, 2012

I admit to having zero interest in seeing "Total Recall"(one of Arh-nuld's most popular films) which seemed like yet another pointless Hollywood remake that would pale in comparison to the original but then I actually saw the trailer. Now, I have to admit that the trailer alone makes this version look like a vast improvement over the 1990 film. I realize this doesn't mean this film will be any good but now I'm much more interested in seeing it. Set in the near future, Colin Farrell (improvement number one) takes over as Douglas Quaid, a factory worker who discovers that false memories have been implanted in him to cover that he is acually a rebel fighter trying to take down the government. This version (directed by Len Wiseman) also features Bryan Cranston, John Cho, Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale as Quaid's loving wife.




"SPARKLE"

Release date: August 17, 2012

In what is, sadly, Whitney Houston's final film is a remake of the 1976 musical, "Sparkle". Now set in the 60's, this story is still about three young sisters who dream of becoming singing stars but fail to see the price they might have to pay for this success. Their mother (played by Houston) tries to protect her girls as she knows firsthand about the hardship of the music biz. The cast includes Derek Luke, Mike Epps and "American Idol" winner, Jordin Sparks making her cinematic debut. "Sparkle" will feature some of the original music written by Curtis Mayfield as well as new material by R. Kelly.